WORST DISNEY MOVIES - Wrap up part 6

Well, it has come to this. The end of the line. The final judgments. The cream and the crap. This list and the next are pretty self-explanatory. In animation, writing, acting, and just plain how much I enjoyed it, which are the best films of the 52, and which are the worst? We'll start with the bad so we can end on a high note. Here it is - the Bottom 13 Disney Films.

Dishonorable mentions first - Brother Bear had a really strong opening act that exploded into crap pretty quickly. But while the last two thirds were some of the worst stuff I saw all year, the beginning and the very end lifted it above the pack. Bambi narrowly missed the list largely by being not worth remembering, and while Meet the Robinsons was often dull as dishwater, it had enough laughs to carry me through. These others were not so lucky.

Dumbo

As much as Snow White annoys me, it’s not really that bad, and gets a broad pass for being a whole new art form. No such excuse for this tedious pile. Being a cheapie cranked out to turn a profit isn’t always a bad thing, I’ve got two cheapies on the top list, but you shouldn’t be able to feel it. And this joyless mess feels like a rush job all the way.

An Imaginary Compilation of Compilation Films

When compiling my good list, I considered the compilation films, but most of them had long segments that I did not at all care for. So I figured I’d make my own for the bad list. We open with the Ave Maria from Fantasia, then go to “Without You”, “Trees”, “Pecos Bill”, “The Flying Gauchito”, and “Piano Concerto 2”, all intercut with shots of Disney animators wandering around Central America, smoking and being patronizing.

Fun and Fancy Free

This compilation, on the other hand, never stood a chance. While the shorts offer some good moments, as  whole, this compilation is a misfire. Short one is draggy, short two is hacky, and the framing links are filled with creepy Charlie McCarthy and that jerkhole Jiminy Cricket.

Alice in Wonderland

While Disney had some success in the ‘90s adapting unadaptable material, that was not the case here. With no plot, no characters, and a script that removes much of Carroll’s cleverness and inserts banal crap, this is one that just doesn’t work.

Peter Pan

This film fails on every level. Sadly, its failure mostly takes the form of being flat and boring. At least some of these had the decency to fail interestingly. Sure, it rarely fails to such an extent that it’s bad, but that means it fails most of all to make any impact, which might be worse. And the extended salute to racism doesn’t help matters. Love that Captain Hook, though.

The Sword in the Stone

It’s nothing more than a desperate attempt to recapture the old fairy-tale magic, and it feels like it. Lousy animation, ludicrous directing choices, and a colossally boring screenplay. The only parts anyone remembers are completely superfluous to the plot, and aren’t that good anyway.

The Aristocats

I get it, Walt had just died, and you’re at a bit of a loss. That’s no excuse for cobbling together this grating collection of horrible scenes, embarrassing animation, and abysmal humor. Also, more racism. While I have seen worse Disney films since this came up on the list, it was certainly worse than anything that came before it.

Robin Hood

While mostly a middling film, and one that would suffice well enough for most kids, the astonishing amounts of recycled animation, all-over-the-place screenplay, and regrettable sissy villain put this one firmly in the bottom quarter. Songs are okay, though, and there’s some decent performances. A dubious honor, but it’s probably the best film on this list.

The Black Cauldron

Oh, such high hopes I had. A forgotten classic, unappreciated in its time? I wish. While Again, I’m not ranking these, this would definitely be in the bottom three. A whiny, ineffectual hero, annoying, do-nothing sidekicks, a hackneyed, clichéd villain - I could keep going, but I’m running short on adjectives. The only entertainment I got from it was the ongoing bewildered contest I had in my head over who was the most annoying character. Probably Flooder.

Pocahontas

If this had come out with no fuss, it still would have been a lousy movie, but it might have just missed the list. But they were so sure that it would turn out to be their next majestic, legendary classic that there’s a layer of completely unfounded confidence spread thickly over the whole film that makes it incredibly annoying and pretentious as well as boring and inaccurate. And also really terrible. Okay, it still would have made the list. And way too much dramatic cliff posing.

Dinosaur

While the visual conceit was a fine idea, ambition outstripped ability on the animators’ parts. And since that animation was apparently intended to compensate for the deathly dull script and abysmal voice acting, I feel no qualms sending this Land Before Time knockoff into extinction. D.B. Sweeney, you should be more ashamed of yourself than I presume you usually are.

Home on the Range

This one has grown on me SLIGHTLY since I first watched it, but I can still say it’s well entrenched among the worst. It’s flat and boring at the best of times, and so frequently switches to being just annoying. A decent set of villains and some fun designs do nothing to pull it out of the bottom of the barrel. I have no use for a movie that can't find a use for Buscemi.

Chicken Little

This is not only the worst movie on this list, but ranks among the worst movies I have ever seen. And I own From Justin To Kelly on DVD and have seen it over a dozen times. The writing is flat and dull and horrible, the characters are artistically offensive stereotypes, the actors are absolutely wasted, and the animation is a failed experiment from a studio not ready for 3D.

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HOTTEST DISNEY DUDES - Wrap up part 5

Well, I knew that if I was going to make a hottest ladies list, I would have to make a hottest guys list, too. No problem there at all. However, while I can analyze the objective attractiveness of a guy, I lack the important qualification of actually being attracted to them, so I farmed this one out, taking to the social media and asking straight ladies, gay dudes, and bisexuals of all genders which Disney men were the hottest. Since this one was determined by vote, this will be the one list not in chronological order.

There were a number of interesting choices that were voted on by one or two people, which meant they wouldn't make the list. But I did want to acknowledge them, because there's a huge diversity of options out there, and I wanted to celebrate the more unusual choices. Some were very unusual, but hey, no judgments here. So first of all, my "oddball choice" honorable mentions:

Mufasa
Ratigan
Clopin
Dr. Facilier
Dopey
The Tramp

And my "almost made it" honorable mentions, from the folks that came close to getting on the list that just didn't get the votes they needed:

Prince Phillip
Basil of Baker Street
John Smith's little friend Thomas

And finally, my "HOW COULD YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS" award, for the man nobody voted for:

Deems Taylor

But enough bonus awards and door prizes! It's time for the main event. The top 13 hottest Disney men, as determined by you, the readers! And it's technically a top 14, because the bottom two were tied!

Jafar

Um… I said no judgments, right? Ah… Okay, I can kind of see this, and I did expect to see a villain on here. I just didn’t expect this guy, who’s pretty damn sleazy. But I guess something in him spoke to a surprising number of ladies. I guess his confidence and smoothness and… height? Well, it could be worse. When the Nostalgia Chick solicited her viewer’s opinions on the hottest animated guys, they put Frollo on the list. *shudder* Anyway, if you are one of the weirdos who's into Jafar, I should let you know that I learned in my GIF search that he's apparently being played by Naveen Andrews on Once Upon a Time and Tumblr is very excited about that.

Kronk

This one surprised me a little, as the real giant beefcake types tend not to be representative of women’s desires. But it makes sense that the one who made the list is not someone like Gaston, but someone who is considerate, friendly, and the funniest character in the movie.

Jim Hawkins

It appears their attempt to make the most 90s-est person ever successfully appealed to my survey sample, most of whom were kids in the 90s. With his center-part, shaved sides, and rat-tail, not to mention his x-treme sports, this guy’s such a 90s bad boy he makes Shawn Hunter look like Wally Cleaver. Look at him brood. Look at his earring. You folks just ate it up.

David Kawena

This, on the other hand, I totally get. He’s pleasantly goofy, he has a hot surfer body, and a good sense of humor. Even more importantly he’s respectful of Nani in his pursuit of her. He doesn’t mind that he essentially has a kid, and doesn’t ignore or dismiss Lilo, instead showing her affection and attention as well. He even helps Nani get a job. And he canonically has a nice butt and fancy hair.

Robin Hood

This one I totally get, too. The swashbuckling action hero is certainly a popular type, and as a kid - most of the people who voted for him noted, perhaps a bit defensively, that it was the “childhood crush” variety - someone who embodies that trope in a non-aggressive way while resembling your furry stuffed toys is going to inspire affection in you. It’s called non-threatening masculinity, it’s very common, and it’s why Hanson got so popular.

Tarzan

This one’s easy to figure out. He’s got a ridiculously good body, he respects Jane while at the same time freeing her from the rigid restrictions of her life, he loves his mother, and he’s got a ridiculously good body.

Hercules

Our second representative from the world of beefcake, and again, a charming, caring, and innocent type. When I wrote about Shang in my Mulan review, I said he was the first Disney guy to be sexualized and viewed through a female gaze. But that’s not really true, I realized later. While it’s mostly played for laughs, the women of this movie unapologetically drool over Hercules, so it’s really no surprise to see him here.

Naveen

Speaking of no surprise, here’s a smooth operator with a cool accent who dances, plays the ukulele, speaks at least three languages, fully commits to his love at great personal cost, and he’s got a sense of humor. Achidanza!

Peter Pan

I assume - or at least hope - this is another “childhood crush” one. Although I suppose technically, Pan could be as old as 70. But as a childhood crush this is textbook. Wild abandon and freedom with no scary threat of looming adulthood. Given that probably the most prominent subtext of the book Peter Pan is Wendy’s semi-realized attraction to him, this one’s halfway intentional. I say half, because it’s still not a very good movie.

Li Shang

While Hercules may have been the first to be subjected to blatant female attention, Shang got hit the hardest with it. Mulan was a film that stated in no uncertain terms “This is a HOT MAN. And Mulan KNOWS IT. HOW COULD SHE NOT?” And so does Grandmother Fa.

Beast

Beast was a tricky one for me to put on here, because half the people who voted for him specified his human form, and half of them specified his beast form. A few of the former group specified human form, but with beast voice. Since they were so specific in their votes, I considered counting them as two, but since it is, after all, the same character, I merged the votes together, and he gets number four.

Flynn Rider

Oh, this one’s easy. He’s got THE SMOLDER. All I have to say about Flynn is that if you like him, his voice actor Zachary Levi, Levi’s former show ‘Chuck’, or nerd cult classic show ‘Firefly’, watch this video. The context is that Levi offered a kiss on the cheek to anyone who’d donate 100 dollars to charity, and someone donated 1000 dollars for a kiss on the lips. And Levi gives it all you would expect from a Disney prince who has also played a super-spy and someone named Fandral the Dashing. What happens afterward is even better. And that’s how hot Flynn Rider is. Just like his actor, he effortlessly combines charm, sex appeal, and comedy style.

Prince Eric

Whaaaaaaa? Man, I always thought this guy was a bland ball of nothing, but he got a HUGE number of votes, putting him neck and neck for the first place spot. I suppose there’s some appeal in his laid-back nature, his patience, his willingness to work on the ship with his sailors… His plunging neckline? Actually, the amount of chest exposed may be key, because our winner is…

Aladdin

Yes, the street rat does good. A perfect storm of nostalgia, appealing character design, rakish yet unintimidating personality, exposed pecs… Truly, this guy had it all. It’s no wonder that for so many people, he is the Disney guy to top the list. And on top of that, he was voiced by Scott Weinger, who was being presented to us every Friday night as desirable boyfriend material. So with that in mind, I leave you with this…

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HOTTEST DISNEY LADIES - Wrap-up part 4

It is a truth universally acknowledged that cartoons can totally be hot, as Leo Tolstoy probably once said. This makes perfect sense. Whether it's childhood crushes founded on our early emotional attachments to animated characters, or simply being an adult and thinking "My, that is one attractive series of drawings." Everyone knows this to be true. In the interest of fairness, I will also be doing a hottest men list, based on surveys of straight ladies and gay dudes, but first, the ladies, based not on audience votes, but rather on my own personal opinions. You don't like it, get your own blog. The subjects were evaluated on physical attractiveness, of course, but also personality, voice, and quality of writing, because that's the kind of sensitive guy I am. They are placed, as ever, in chronological order. I will be making an effort to avoid being too base or dirty in my commentary, which is why I'll begin with this GIF, to work it out of my system.

Ah, there we go. Okay, let's begin.

Slue-Foot Sue

What can I say? I’m known to like Western ladies, and a sassy, confident cowgirl who rides a giant catfish is right up my Rio Grande. I must say, though, I hate the end she comes to, and I HATE the short she’s a part of. But still, while she's served with a thick layer of 1940s sexism and cheesiness, there's some good stuff that peeks its way in there. Take a look at the GIF, where she's daintily and calmly stepping up to sit on a horse that is mostly known for murdering people. That is style. I looked for a GIF of her riding the catfish at the beginning,  which would be much more self-explanatory, but I couldn't find one. And I'd like you all to appreciate my restraint in not leading with this.

Keeping it classy here, folks.

Briar Rose

I feel a little weird about this, since she’s canonically 16 years old, but come on, look at her. She’s clearly at least 30. Maybe this takes place in a fantasy land with double-size years. Like Westeros. Does Sleeping beauty take place on Westeros? I’m just going to pretend it does. House Beauty: Ours Is The Napping.

Anita Dearly

I went over this in the review. She’s introduced wearing glasses and a hat, and giving the stinkeye to some goon who interrupts her reading. I’m in love already. I’m a bit annoyed that she doesn’t seem to have a career after marriage, for which I blame the 1960s. Or maybe we just don’t see it. Okay, I’m going to assume she’s an art critic/novelist. Awwwww yeah.

Vanessa

Many straight guys and gay ladies of my acquaintance were surprised that Ariel didn’t make my initial list, so in fairness I went back and took another look at the Little Mermaid. Ariel still didn’t do anything for me, but I have to say, Vanessa’s got it going on. Oh, sure, she’s an evil hypnotizing murderer who’s secretly a slimy purple tentacle monster, but so what? Like you’re so perfect. If she tries to murder me, that’s just something we can work through. Now that I think of it, people were also surprised Jasmine didn’t make my list. Maybe it’s just a midriff thing.

Belle

I don’t think anyone will be surprised that I have a thing for the person who’s into books over all else. As an adult, I have some issues with her character, particularly in the first scene (I mean, she could at least buy the damn book), but she’s still totally hot. I may have written fan fiction as a tween where she was dating on original character suspiciously similar to me. No, you can’t read it, as it does not exist anymore. And even if it did, no.

Megara

Megara’s got a fantastic personality, does not have time for your nonsense, and has hips that do not lie. Speaking of which, I think the extreme stylization of this movie makes it easier to accept the equally extreme skinniness that affects too many animated women. I mean, I appreciate Meg’s hips, but she does look like a stiff wind could crack her in half. But in this movie's style, she can still look strong. Oh, and she also does a good stinkeye. I think that's more important to me in a woman than I realized.

Fa Mulan

Total badass here. I don’t want to meet a person who doesn’t have Mulan on their list, because I don’t associate with liars and idiots. I am perpetually annoyed at the way she is treated by the Disney Princess line, by always and only emphasizing the “girly” aspect of her character, because the full embracing of masculine and feminine aspects is what makes her so attractive. Also worth noting, she’s the first Disney character with an extended nude scene. Hey now.

Jane Porter

Okay, she’s basically Belle (albeit somewhat pointier due to the film’s design) only instead of just reading, it’s reading, drawing, AND SCIENCE! And she’s got an English accent! I mean, come on. That's hardly even fair.

Nani Pelekai

Nani’s appearance has been commented on in several places, that they were able to keep her stylized and cartoonish, while still giving her proportions based on real life, and that is what makes her amazingly hot. Like I mentioned above, mean, a lot of these women have serious wasp waists, and it’s kind of off-putting. None of them would look at home on a surfboard. Also good at the stinkeye, as seen above.

Sarah Hawkins

Not only is she very attractive, devoted to her family even in difficult times, and not willing to put up with shenanigans, she runs a SPACE HOTEL! Do you understand how hot that is to me? "Hey, Brian, what's the hottest job a woman could have?" "Oh, that's easy, proprietor of a space hotel." "How about if she also wears old-timey clothes even though it's the future?" "You are speaking my language." 

Frannie Robinson

Back when I was in high school, my reasons for watching Mad TV were 80% crush on Nicole Sullivan, with the rest being a pretty equal combination of the comedy stylings of Will Sasso and needing something to do when SNL was at commercials. The reasons I like Frannie Robinson are 80% voice of Nicole Sullivan, and the rest being a pretty equal split between future hair and musical frogs. And yes, future fashion in the future is as attractive to me as old-timey fashion in the future. I am a study in contrasts.

Tiana

Not only is she lovely, she’s passionate about her work, and is actually taking steps to improve her life, which I find simply delightful. I think a part of what makes her so appealing to me is that much like Nani, the animators went to great effort to depict Tiana’s features in a manner that, while being stylized and cartoony,  is still racially realistic, unlike Jasmine, who doesn’t look Middle Eastern, or Pocahontas, who barely looks human. This extra layer of attention goes a long way. Also, those beignets look freaking yummy.

Rapunzel

Not only do we have here another princess who goes out and does things for herself, we also have another character who values learning, reading, and art over everything else. Thankfully, she's too earnest and optimistic to give stinkeyes, or else I might go crazy. I’d like to note that her short hair from the ending was much better, but I couldn’t find a GIF of that, and I’m not going to switch to stills this late in the game. So I went for her being clumsy. Mandy Moore being clumsy: Hot on Scrubs, hot in animation.

Nicole Sullivan was also on Scrubs, but the only GIFs I could find were from the SADDEST EPISODE EVER.

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BEST VILLAIN SONGS: Wrap-up part three

When I was compiling by Best Songs list, I ran into real trouble in the back half deciding between the villain songs and other songs in several movies. Eventually I decided the reason for this was that villain songs serve a different need for both the story and the audience, and to make things easier on myself, I decided to make a third list. So here you are, the best songs by or about villains! 

The Headless Horseman

Written by Don Raye and Gene DePaul

Performed by Bing Crosby as Brom Bones with the Rhythmaires

When he goes a'joggin' across the land

Holdin' his noggin in his hand

Demons take a look and groan

And hit the road for parts unknown

I was surprised that a lot of the early films didn’t really feature villain songs. This is the first one with a really villainous tone, and it works very well. And the swingy '40s style works well, even if it doesn't fit the setting that well. It has the misfortune of being sung by Bing Crosby, but I can fix that for you.

The Elegant Captain Hook

Music by Sammy Cahn, Lyrics by Sammy Fain

Performed by the Disney studio chorus and Hans Conreid as Captain Hook

As a special offer for today

I'll tell you what I'll do.

All those who sign without delay

Will get a free tattoo!

A balance of the threatening and innocuous is a great way to describe Never Land in general, and this song really embraces that. A sales pitch and death threat all in one, with Hans Conreid hamming it up. As I said before, Hook was the only part of this movie that I really liked, and I’m glad his song is so catchy.

Cruella DeVille

Music and lyrics by Mel Leven

Performed by Bill Lee as Roger

At first you think Cruella is the devil

But after time has worn away the shock

You come to realize

You've seen her kind of eyes

Watching you from underneath a rock

One of the best on the list, and the only song in an almost entirely non-musical movie. Not only is it wonderfully moody and funny, it establishes the character of Roger perfectly, and the way he continues to play the song upstairs throughout the scene is hilarious.

Trust in Me

Music and lyrics by the Sherman Brothers

Performed by Sterling Holloway as Kaa

Trussst in me

Jussst in me

Shut your eyesss

And go to sssleep

You can sssleep sssafe and sssound

Knowing I am around.

I never would have expected Sterling Holloway to be able to pull off “scary”, but he remarkably manages it here, even in the role of a largely comic relief villain. His tweedy, soft voice carries the hypnotic feel of the character in a delightfully creepy way.

Goodbye So Soon

Music by Henry Mancini, Lyrics by Larry Grossman and Ellen Fitzhugh

Performed by Vincent Price as Ratigan

You followed me, I followed you

We were like each other’s shadows for a while

Now we can see this game is through

So although it hurts, I’ll try to smile

Speaking of delightfully creepy, Vincent Price! “The villain puts the hero in a death trap and leaves” is such an overdone cliché, but I love the way it was done here, with the five or six different death traps, the camera to capture the blessed event, and the fact that the trap was triggered by the arm of a record player playing this specially recorded farewell song. The song plays mainly in the background, which makes the few times it comes to the surface hilariously incongruous with the deadly danger.

Poor Unfortunate Souls

Music by Alan Menken, lyrics by Howard Ashman

Performed by Pat Carroll as Ursula

Those poor, unfortunate souls

In pain, in need

This one longing to be thinner, that one wants to get the girl

And do I help them?

Yes indeed.

It’s a both nostalgic and an objective fact that the Renaissance was when the music got really good, and right out of the gate, they give us one of their all-time greatest villain songs. The lyrics are wonderful in that “oh, I’m so misunderstood, now SELL YOUR SOUL TO ME” way, and Pat Carroll performs the hell out of it. And those creepy little victim-shrimp watching and writhing in pain really drive it home.

Gaston

Music by Alan Menken, lyrics by Howard Ashman

Performed by Jessi Corti as LeFou, and Richard White as Gaston

No one shoots like Gaston

Makes those beauts like Gaston

Then goes stomping around wearing boots like Gaston!

Beauty and the Beast has two villain songs, and while the more traditionally nasty “Mob Song” almost made the list, I had to give the point to this song, where the townsfolk sing Gaston’s praises. It’s a great character piece that shows just what a likeable person Gaston is to the town, even though we can still see him as a jackass. And Ashman’s lyrics are really on point, though the more clever rhymes do give the famously anti-intellectual Gaston a surprisingly robust vocabulary. For bonus fun, check out the album version, which adds an extra bit to the end.

Be Prepared

Music by Elton John, Lyrics by Tim Rice

Performed by Jeremy Irons and Jim Cummings as Scar

I know it sounds sordid

But you’ll be rewarded

When at last I am given my due

An injustice deliciously squared

Be prepared!

This is one of my favorite movies about Jeremy Irons trying to take over a kingdom, second only to Dungeons and Dragons, so how could I not give the point to him singing about it? Music and lyrics are good, but it’s the performance that really sells this one, even if he does start to sound like Darkwing Duck at the end. The Nazi imagery is a little weird, though.

Mine Mine Mine

Music by Alan Menken, Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz

Performed by David Ogden Stiers as Radcliffe and Wiggins and Mel Gibson as John Smith

It’s mine, boys, mine for the taking

So mine, boys, mine me that gold

With those nuggets dug, it’s

Glory they’ll gimme, my dear friend King Jimmy

Will probably build me a shrine

Not remotely a good movie, but I do enjoy this song, which counterpoints Radcliffe’s greed for the land’s resources with Smith’s fetishization of the land itself as an adventure for him to have, a nice subtle thing which I think was probably accidental, because this movie is terrible. But this song is a lot of fun in its gleeful abandon, despite what I said last time about Schwartz not doing whimsy well. It helps that Stiers is one of those actors who elevates the material by his mere presence, and since he plays his own assistant, you get to hear him sing counterpoint to himself. And Gibson just tries his darndest, bless him. Listen to him try. He's almost good.

Hellfire

Music by Alan Menken, Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz

Performed by Tony Jay as Frollo

Like fire!

Hellfire!

This fire in my skin

This burning

Desire

Is turning me to sin

Whimsy may not be Schwartz’s forte, but portentous, overdramatic anguish redeemably is, and when paired with Menken at his most… MOST,  holy cow, this song is amazing. Magnificently sung by Tony Jay, this dark hymn to lust, obsession, and shame is rightly famous as the song that makes people say, “Wait, this is Disney?” And it follows immediately after a sweet and innocent song and a little religious interlude, which really lulls us into a false sense of peace.

Perfect World

Music by Sting and David Hartley, Lyrics by Sting

Performed by Tom Jones as Theme Song Guy

He’s the sovereign lord of the nation

He’s the hippest cat in creation

He’s the alpha the omega, A to Z

And this perfect world will spin

Upon his every little whim

‘Cause his perfect world begins and ends with - ME!

Not a lot of people would think of this song. For one thing, it’s the only song in an otherwise totally non-musical movie. For another, Yzma, not Kuzco, is the film’s villain. But he certainly is an antagonist at the beginning, and a song which fully sets up his utterly self-centered worldview is a great way to establish him. Plus, he has an old guy thrown out the window.

Yodel-addle-eedle-idle-oo

Music by Alan Menken, Lyrics by Glenn Slater

Performed by Randy Quaid, Randy Erwin, and Kerry Christensen as Alameda Slim, with David Burnham, Jason Graae and Gregory Jbara as the Willie Brothers

They call me mean, boys

Depraved and nasty too

And they ain't seen, boys

The cruelest thing I do

Aladdin was a diamond in the rough. This song is a diamond in a heap of cow crap. In the middle of one of Disney’s most limp and uninspired movies, we get this delightful little number with fun animation, infectious energy, and some very fine yodeling, though I was misinformed when I said in the review that it was all Randy Quaid. He did the stuff in the verses proper, but the really complex stuff in the bridge was two other guys. Oh well. Still a good song. Pity they couldn’t keep it going.

Friends on the Other Side

Music and Lyrics by Randy Newman

Performed by Keith David as Dr. Facillier

You’re changing, you’re changing, you’re changing all right

I hope you’re satisfied

But if you ain’t, don’t blame me

You can blame my friends on the other side

Keith David’s is one of the greatest voices of all time. When he plays a smooth operator, it’s like velvet butter. Wait, that would taste terrible. No, that’s okay, because he’s playing a bad guy. Anyway, along the same lines as “Poor Unfortunate Souls”, this song involves the villain convincing the hero to do something that is a very, very bad idea. But while Ursula approached Ariel with the brash manner of a used car salesman, Dr. Facillier approaches Naveen like a seducer. And it works marvelously. Because Keith David.

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